Wow, I was in a truly foul mood today! As I just told the boy, haven't felt like this since 1986 (ha ha)! No really, I woke up after the long, lovely weekend, in time for work etc and initially feeling something - thought maybe a bit low, a little depression. But oh no, depression would have been welcome, instead I was just all out bitchy and snappy today. Silence reigned in my office, cos they only talk when I do, which is most of the time. I even snapped at S, my close work buddy and partner in crime! I'm shocked, I don't even know where this tempest came from and it hasn't really disappeared as yet. Talking with the boy helped, he made me laugh, though a couple of times I tried to start a fight (over his vs my friends), but he dodged the bullets and at one point, caught one in his teeth and spat it back at me. The worst part is, I can see my bitchyness and I'm horrified because the Euros can't deal with such stuff. They don't confront and they are a peaceful, non-attacking lot. I was like a rottweiller (sp) amongst the little lambs today!!! Ugh, I'm slowly starting to feel guilt. Honestly, it has to do with getting off the pill, stress (the bloody China visit tomorrow), and general hormone wonkyness (like last month's 2 week dippy period!) Then again at age 31 it is time to get some control!
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to make up some of the damage, at least to S, who is lovely! And what about my recent intense irritation and dislike of my ex-boss? What is up with that? I have to conquer this trait whereby if I lose respect for someone or they annoy me then it is all down hill from there and I just can't tolerate them anymore - EVEN if they still love me and support me. The problem here is actually that I'm getting away with being a bully because when I'm good, I'm really really good (and fun, and outgoing and as one of the senior staff says, "the mentor".)
And that is another thing, the young 'uns are always asking me for advice and I like to help and provide tangible steps forward, but I want some professional advice too! I also want some answers and maybe I should start the asking and listening process again.
Anyway, all I know is that I can't be like this regularly and I have to take such moods in hand. I know we are all allowed our bad spells, but I really dislike people who take it out on others and there I was today, doing the same. It isn't acceptable, not to co-workers, family, loved ones or friends. So, to the universe - I'm really really sorry! Please give me the strength to apologise tomorrow in many ways and make it up to people serenely!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Marriage - for one and for all
I should really mention the big events taking place in my life, namely, getting married to the boy and moving to LA. I guess I haven’t mentioned the marriage thing really because it seems a bit surreal. Also, this isn’t a blog about my upcoming wedding (though I’m addicted to East Side Girl, who is about to get married). I think the real reason I don’t mention marriage or my wedding is that I’ve never been the sort of girl who imagined herself getting married or walking down the aisle in white, or walking around a fire in red (which I will probably do in January!) What I did imagine, as a child and then teenager, was having a daughter, a lover who supported me but let me be myself, living in Europe, somewhere warmer and more colourful than Brussels, and writing. The boy fits my image of the guy I’d end up with – he was always brown in my mind’s eye and free wheeling – though somehow, he was more a market stall type than a PhD economist.
Anyway, my point is that I never sought marriage though I did seek partnership. But in the end, marriage has become of some importance and I need it for social and practical reasons. The world, more specifically some nation states, like the US, are not generous to the unmarried couples. I need marriage to live with the boy in the US – that simple, hence our civil knot tying in June in Hawaii. I also would like the social celebration of our love and the acceptance that we are really a couple (by his friends, family on both sides etc) and thus the wedding in India in January. What comes with marriage is that we get to sleep in the same bed wherever we are, his friends have to deal with us as a set, read grown-up, couple (no more sharing of beds with them etc), and we make a commitment to each other that whispered words as live-ins just don’t measure up to somehow. In the end, that public gesture and verbalization of our love and the "community's" celebration of it carries with it some secret magic.
In light of my own evolvement towards my own marriage (though I would never suggest that any couple needs marriage to be legit), and my general views on homosexuality, I find it appalling that in this day and age where sex is just another act, we cannot accept same-sex love enough to offer it the same community acceptance that we do to heterosexual love. I don’t ask of religions to accept gay couples, but the liberal-democratic state, should be blind to homosexuality and heterosexuality and look instead at humanity. For the same reasons that I need/want marriage, plenty of my gay friends do too – and most of them are in relationships many a hetero would love to be in! So, why sanction one set and condemn another? No one should have the monopoly on defining love and partnership and certainly not in terms of gender! Such state based morality is old fashioned and paternalistic to say the least - and - it is time to move on, as we did on banning inter-racial affairs. My own Canada, of which I am so proud of in this arena, is now to re-debate the question under this new, conservative government and I can only hope my fellow citizens have the energy to stand up again and tell the government to butt its nose out of what constitutes our "love".
This post says it all:
Blogging for LGBT Families at http://twouteruses.blogspot.com
Anyway, my point is that I never sought marriage though I did seek partnership. But in the end, marriage has become of some importance and I need it for social and practical reasons. The world, more specifically some nation states, like the US, are not generous to the unmarried couples. I need marriage to live with the boy in the US – that simple, hence our civil knot tying in June in Hawaii. I also would like the social celebration of our love and the acceptance that we are really a couple (by his friends, family on both sides etc) and thus the wedding in India in January. What comes with marriage is that we get to sleep in the same bed wherever we are, his friends have to deal with us as a set, read grown-up, couple (no more sharing of beds with them etc), and we make a commitment to each other that whispered words as live-ins just don’t measure up to somehow. In the end, that public gesture and verbalization of our love and the "community's" celebration of it carries with it some secret magic.
In light of my own evolvement towards my own marriage (though I would never suggest that any couple needs marriage to be legit), and my general views on homosexuality, I find it appalling that in this day and age where sex is just another act, we cannot accept same-sex love enough to offer it the same community acceptance that we do to heterosexual love. I don’t ask of religions to accept gay couples, but the liberal-democratic state, should be blind to homosexuality and heterosexuality and look instead at humanity. For the same reasons that I need/want marriage, plenty of my gay friends do too – and most of them are in relationships many a hetero would love to be in! So, why sanction one set and condemn another? No one should have the monopoly on defining love and partnership and certainly not in terms of gender! Such state based morality is old fashioned and paternalistic to say the least - and - it is time to move on, as we did on banning inter-racial affairs. My own Canada, of which I am so proud of in this arena, is now to re-debate the question under this new, conservative government and I can only hope my fellow citizens have the energy to stand up again and tell the government to butt its nose out of what constitutes our "love".
This post says it all:
Blogging for LGBT Families at http://twouteruses.blogspot.com
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Brain Drain and Brain Waste
One of my main issues with Europe is its point of view on migration, in particular high skilled migration and migrants. The Commission is currently pushing for an EU-wide/EU level migration policy, which while far off for the moment, is like the Directives on Environment etc., inevitable. On the other hand, individual member states are trying to (re)carve out migration policies - for some this is new territory as they have rarely had any set "policy" on migration apart from traditional liberal democracy family reunification style migration. The main member state in the news right now is France, with a new immigration bill - requesting longer processing times for family reunification while supporting a highly skilled TEMPORARY migration programme.
In reaction to the US and Canada (according to Sarkozy), the French have decided they too have to attract "talent", especially as they view talent to be less troublesome than their current 'low-skilled' and 'badly educated' migrants (of course, a number of these so-called migrants are in fact 2nd generation French citizens). I'd like to point out here that most of the migrants have been quite successful and the poverty witnessed in certain areas is experienced by both white and non-white. Unemployment is harder on the young visible minority male because mainly of his colour or culture and less because of his lack of education. Studies have shown in France a male with a Muslim name stands little chance of getting a good job.
Granted though, there is a vast difference between migrants from the same regions (North Africa, Asia) who move to the US, Canada and Australia than to France or Germany. And unfortunately, there are links between the ease of cultural integration/assimilation into 'western society' and levels of education. Partly, because elites from developing countries have always prided themselves on their “Westerness”, even if it is only the veneer of sophistication. And of course, education usually also provides the migrant with important language tools, marketable skills and a sense of confidence. But a society that cannot lift its second-generation 'migrants', regardless of who their parents were, must bear responsibility for failing to encourage cultural unity and sustainable integration.
Anyway, now the French want the creme de la creme of the developing world - except not forever. Now, the elite are to pick France over citizenship in the US and Canada, for a measly three year visa!! A very similar "green card" system failed miserably in Germany because it did not offer long-term residency (let alone citizenship) and in the end, the very type of migrant they were trying to lure, had many other (better) options to pick from. High tech workers have changed the image of the migrant and the rules of the game. Now, maybe for the first time ever, the migrant is a rational action with his own agency!
But somehow the French think things will be different for them. Of course, this ties in with the very Continental concept of brain drain. The French feel they are doing the right thing by forcing educated migrants to go home, so as not to rob Africa, India etc of their brains. As someone said today, well we have brains in surplus so don't worry about us. The very notion of brain drain angers me, not least because it is extremely paternalistic and somewhat hypocritical. I think the Europeans fear competition and so they really buy into the notion that by taking doctors from Africa and Asia, they are harming those countries. But what about the doctors who do stay in their countries of origin/developing world? There are no hospitals, no medicines etc. Why should any human with potential waste away? How are these people going to help their nation? And in fact, what does seem to happen with educated diasporas, is that they return, even 10, 20, 30 years later to help out in their country of origin through sharing of skills, investments and knowledge.
In the case of India, please - there is no need to worry about us. We have plenty of bright young ones, just waiting in the wings to take peoples' places. And if the West is so concerned about keeping the brains at home (in the country of origin), then help set up decent hospitals and provide necessary clinic facilities and equipment etc instead of sending us land mines and guns! Or as the BJP would say (not that I’m a fan of theirs), “micro-chips not potato chips!”
What will happen to Europe when they really start to let in highly qualified migrants and truly court the ‘talent’? I think a shift in perception and realities will take place - basically encouraging competition. No longer will the migrant be totally pitied or discriminated against and it will be very hard for the Europeans to then deal with their sense of superiority in the face of true competition. It will of course also change their societies, with people becoming much pushier and more ambitions. Get a few Indians in here an already things are being shaken up (I refer to the stiff competition the Belgian diamond cutters are now facing in Antwerp against the Chinese and Indian diamond cutters who are cheaper, better and faster and work much longer hours). On a side note, we’ll probably see more stores open on Sundays in Belgium and maybe longer store hours during the week to cater for what is actually ‘normal’ – people who don’t leave work at 5.30pm!
In my mind all this ties in with a global political shift of a growing rift between North and South at the same time as the South is gaining an economic and political voice. Brazil, China and India are redefining power politics, from trade and the WTO to Security Council seats at the UN. And capitalism in the end favours competition and new markets. The very beast of colonialism will reshape a new world order in some manner. Already at the WTO, developing nations are calling for a link between investment and trade and migration policies of the EU (in particular, visa facilitation for business and education).
With increasing globalization and shared markets, in the end, the EU and EU member states will have to change their migration policies and offer visas and residence cards to the developing world. And when there is a truly free flow of capital, persons and brains, only then will we see actual benefits and possibly even a more humanitarian spirit borne of shared experiences through a genuine eradication of the nation state.
Of course, none of the above unfortunately deals with the other side of the developing world, namely, West Africa and what is happening on the coast off Spain and Italy. Illegal or irregular or undocumented migration, whatever you want to call it, is a huge issue – mainly because it touches on a raw nerve and less because of actual figures. Anyway, that’s a posting for another day…
In reaction to the US and Canada (according to Sarkozy), the French have decided they too have to attract "talent", especially as they view talent to be less troublesome than their current 'low-skilled' and 'badly educated' migrants (of course, a number of these so-called migrants are in fact 2nd generation French citizens). I'd like to point out here that most of the migrants have been quite successful and the poverty witnessed in certain areas is experienced by both white and non-white. Unemployment is harder on the young visible minority male because mainly of his colour or culture and less because of his lack of education. Studies have shown in France a male with a Muslim name stands little chance of getting a good job.
Granted though, there is a vast difference between migrants from the same regions (North Africa, Asia) who move to the US, Canada and Australia than to France or Germany. And unfortunately, there are links between the ease of cultural integration/assimilation into 'western society' and levels of education. Partly, because elites from developing countries have always prided themselves on their “Westerness”, even if it is only the veneer of sophistication. And of course, education usually also provides the migrant with important language tools, marketable skills and a sense of confidence. But a society that cannot lift its second-generation 'migrants', regardless of who their parents were, must bear responsibility for failing to encourage cultural unity and sustainable integration.
Anyway, now the French want the creme de la creme of the developing world - except not forever. Now, the elite are to pick France over citizenship in the US and Canada, for a measly three year visa!! A very similar "green card" system failed miserably in Germany because it did not offer long-term residency (let alone citizenship) and in the end, the very type of migrant they were trying to lure, had many other (better) options to pick from. High tech workers have changed the image of the migrant and the rules of the game. Now, maybe for the first time ever, the migrant is a rational action with his own agency!
But somehow the French think things will be different for them. Of course, this ties in with the very Continental concept of brain drain. The French feel they are doing the right thing by forcing educated migrants to go home, so as not to rob Africa, India etc of their brains. As someone said today, well we have brains in surplus so don't worry about us. The very notion of brain drain angers me, not least because it is extremely paternalistic and somewhat hypocritical. I think the Europeans fear competition and so they really buy into the notion that by taking doctors from Africa and Asia, they are harming those countries. But what about the doctors who do stay in their countries of origin/developing world? There are no hospitals, no medicines etc. Why should any human with potential waste away? How are these people going to help their nation? And in fact, what does seem to happen with educated diasporas, is that they return, even 10, 20, 30 years later to help out in their country of origin through sharing of skills, investments and knowledge.
In the case of India, please - there is no need to worry about us. We have plenty of bright young ones, just waiting in the wings to take peoples' places. And if the West is so concerned about keeping the brains at home (in the country of origin), then help set up decent hospitals and provide necessary clinic facilities and equipment etc instead of sending us land mines and guns! Or as the BJP would say (not that I’m a fan of theirs), “micro-chips not potato chips!”
What will happen to Europe when they really start to let in highly qualified migrants and truly court the ‘talent’? I think a shift in perception and realities will take place - basically encouraging competition. No longer will the migrant be totally pitied or discriminated against and it will be very hard for the Europeans to then deal with their sense of superiority in the face of true competition. It will of course also change their societies, with people becoming much pushier and more ambitions. Get a few Indians in here an already things are being shaken up (I refer to the stiff competition the Belgian diamond cutters are now facing in Antwerp against the Chinese and Indian diamond cutters who are cheaper, better and faster and work much longer hours). On a side note, we’ll probably see more stores open on Sundays in Belgium and maybe longer store hours during the week to cater for what is actually ‘normal’ – people who don’t leave work at 5.30pm!
In my mind all this ties in with a global political shift of a growing rift between North and South at the same time as the South is gaining an economic and political voice. Brazil, China and India are redefining power politics, from trade and the WTO to Security Council seats at the UN. And capitalism in the end favours competition and new markets. The very beast of colonialism will reshape a new world order in some manner. Already at the WTO, developing nations are calling for a link between investment and trade and migration policies of the EU (in particular, visa facilitation for business and education).
With increasing globalization and shared markets, in the end, the EU and EU member states will have to change their migration policies and offer visas and residence cards to the developing world. And when there is a truly free flow of capital, persons and brains, only then will we see actual benefits and possibly even a more humanitarian spirit borne of shared experiences through a genuine eradication of the nation state.
Of course, none of the above unfortunately deals with the other side of the developing world, namely, West Africa and what is happening on the coast off Spain and Italy. Illegal or irregular or undocumented migration, whatever you want to call it, is a huge issue – mainly because it touches on a raw nerve and less because of actual figures. Anyway, that’s a posting for another day…
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Receptions galore
So, a large part of my work life involves "liaising" with various organisations (the European Commission, the Parliament, EU Member State representatives, other IGOs etc). One part I do like about liaising is learning how to read situations and react quickly, to questions, to the unspoken tensions in a room, to the vibe. I think I'm getting better but maybe I'm also getting more confident about myself and my instinct and that helps. The part I thought I'd like a lot and actually realise is a bit of a drain is attending cocktail parties. I've attended two this week and now I'm all cocktailed out! If you'd asked me a year ago what I would want from a job, I'd have said, 'cocktail parties and travel for work'. I have plenty of the former and some of the latter and what I have had has also exhausted me (though both trips have been energising and enriching as well).
Basically, this makes me pause to think, what is it that I really love about my work and what is it that I would want from a future job? Continuous learning is a must, so are challenges but also rewards. I'd like more money and maybe quicker promotions. But are these last two like my desire for cocktails and travel? When I have them, will I want something else? Hmmm...
As I end, because it is late and tomorrow is a busy day, I have to add the start of a new thread - as a lure to my reader(s) and as a reminder to myself (I'm old and the second thing to go is memory - the first being my bloody eye sight!):
Do I and my generation have too many choices? Are we so over stimulated that we are spoilt and in fact, can't even make simple decisions anymore because every decision provides us with multiple options? And, do we actually crave simpler lives? Sorry, nothing too stellar in terms of "new" thoughts- a number of articles have been written on this subject already, but it bears exploring.
Basically, this makes me pause to think, what is it that I really love about my work and what is it that I would want from a future job? Continuous learning is a must, so are challenges but also rewards. I'd like more money and maybe quicker promotions. But are these last two like my desire for cocktails and travel? When I have them, will I want something else? Hmmm...
As I end, because it is late and tomorrow is a busy day, I have to add the start of a new thread - as a lure to my reader(s) and as a reminder to myself (I'm old and the second thing to go is memory - the first being my bloody eye sight!):
Do I and my generation have too many choices? Are we so over stimulated that we are spoilt and in fact, can't even make simple decisions anymore because every decision provides us with multiple options? And, do we actually crave simpler lives? Sorry, nothing too stellar in terms of "new" thoughts- a number of articles have been written on this subject already, but it bears exploring.
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