Reading Maximum City in LaLa Land

Well, I'm in LaLa Land for 3 days, visiting the boy, and essentially coming to terms with the idea that I will soon be living here! First of all, let me say the weather is, as usual, just simply gorgeous. That should be enough of a reason to joyfully move I guess...especially after Brussels!

I read Suketu Mehta's "Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found" in one day - I literally gobbled it up yesterday, reading on the plane, at UCLA and then at home. I loved it in the same way that I adore good ice-cream, it is delicious and easy to eat, even filing and arguably nutritious, but while lacking something substantial, still rumination provoking. Mehta made me once again consider (and face) the deep anti-Pakistani sentiment we Indians seem to share and our more hidden, anti-Muslim feelings. It is as if for our country to exist we have to create an opposite to measure ourselves against – we are secular, they are religious; we are open, they are closed; we are democratic, they are despotic etc etc. While India is, as pointed out by Mehta, surrounded by Muslim countries, the only one that engages our imagination as much and that we struggle against, both at our borders and in our hearts, is Pakistan.

Mehta talks a lot about Bombay as this big mixing and melting pot and I'm trying to remember how it was living in Juhu, just opposite Sea Princess (mentioned in the book) - I guess ours are what Mehta calls a "cosmopolitan" building/buildings. We had Catholics, Parsis, Jains, and Hindus living and playing together. In addition, the families were Bengali, Maharashtrian, Gujarati, Goan, East Indian, Punjabi, etc. We had only one Muslim family (in the building next to ours), with a son named like the famous Pakistani cricket captain (ahem). I don't remember any slurs being tossed about by us kids – we did have the occasional joke, usually about the Parsis, and made by the Parsis, but it seemed that though we were aware of our differences, we continued to exchange sweets on holy days and generally felt a bond based on the buildings we lived in (Neptune, vs. Sea Queen etc) rather than along religious or regional lines. In fact we even had kids who were from "mixed marriages", which in those days was quite adventurous and basically meant a Punjabi married to a Gujarati, or a Parsi married to a Catholic. I do remember talking to the building boys about the first set of Hindu-Muslim riots as one of them (a Hindu) had a Muslim girlfriend. I guess I was lucky that my first images of life and of India were so heterogeneous. Strangely though, while different boys pursued us, and we flirted back, I don’t remember us ever considering a relationship (a teenage love) with anyone non-Catholic - that seemed somewhat out of bounds.

What does all the above, my first influences on love and longing, say about my current choice?

I also took note of Mehta's naming of Northwest Bombay, in particular, Juhu and Bandra, as the Beverly Hills of Bombay, "where the stars live and work" (p155- Number two after Scotland Yard). In some bizarre cosmic way, back again, here I am in star-studded land, especially if we end up living in West Hollywood - actually all a waste on me - because though I love the movies, I'm just not infatuated by the stars (of neither Hollywood nor Bollywood). I have memories of going to some Bollywood royalty’s houses, and seeing them at weddings and the clubs we just naturally frequented in our area, but never running after them. I guess we were blasé about it because we went to school with their kids and lived in the midst of them.

The parts of the book that I enjoyed the most were the discussions on the links and similarities between organised crime and terrorism. I agree that there is a litany of global woes of jihadists - and not without some basis - from Afghanistan, to Chechnya, to Palestine, to Bosnia, to Kashmir, and now to Iraq (and possibly Gujarat), which not only reinforces the idea of Islamaphobia but focuses on each crisis as a matter of survival of Islam (the global fight), so that territorial disputes such as Kashmir, Chechnya and Palestine are elevated to struggles of the "uma" and equated with the authentic acts of genocide against Muslims, such as Bosnia and Gujarat. What Mehta clearly shows is that terrorism is just another name for organised crime, this time just adopting and using a larger cause than just money or fame to achieve the same prize – power. The “partnerships” built up between terrorist groups such as the LTTE and Al Qaeda and the IRA and between terrorist groups and gangland (Dawood in the case of Bombay, but the Chechen mafia in Russia) show that blowing someone up for religion or land is the same as shooting them for debts not paid.

In the end, I feel that what Mehta really does a good job highlighting, is a Bombayite’s love for Bombay, the very idea of Bombay vs. Mumbai, and the need for a symbol of a city like Bombay in the minds of Indians and the Indian national story. In many ways, Bombay, like the Quit India struggle, is one of the strong threads binding the patches of cloth that make up the Indian quilt.

Migration today

The whole EU is in a tizzy about the Canary Islands and the Senegalese migrants stranded there, literally on the doorstop of Europe. In tandem with this the UN just held its High Level Dialogue (HLD) on Migration and Development, which my office worked a lot on in terms of preparing papers for our colleagues in GV and NY. Very interesting stuff is coming out these days - the issue of migration can't be avoided or ignored any longer and while it seems through the pictures even more of a North-South story than ever before, the tale is in fact far more nuanced than that.

For example, everyone thought the G77 of the developing nations would make a strong statement at the HLD in NYC (mid-Sept), in support of the migrant (worker), and in support of an international mechanism to manage migration, but in the end the G77 was divided between some sending nations, such as the Philippines and other "receiving" nations like Saudi Arabia or even Jordan. In addition, some states like India, a sending nation, but also receiving (in regional terms) and a nation with both high and low skilled workers, was quite silent through the dialogue, mainly due to its allergy to multilateral discussions. Then there were the expected attitudes of certain players - the UK being staunchly against any UN-related body being set up to coordinate migration, or to push the migration dialogue onto another level (and away from the control of the nation state). And then some real surprises, like little old Belgium. One sure fact was the linkage made and the strengthening of the acceptance of the linkage between migration and development.

How fascinating is all of this? We will look back at these times and probably shake our heads wondering why we never dealt with migration on a more global, coordinated, and managed scale and instead pushed for national sovereignity on this issue. First of all, the EC will look back and shake its head as they should be the first to move forward on "regional" coordination and pan-national mechanisms. But, anyway, EU bashing aside, migration today is what the environment was as a hot topic 15 years ago, with the same realisation taking place that we can only handle this on a pan-global level. The difference of course is the highly volatile nature of migration and how we (senders and receivers) perceive cultural changes through migration.

Some issues of interest: brain drain, brain waste, remittances as development aid, illegal/irregular migration, redefining of "refugee" and asylum, economic migrants, amnesties, citizenship, labour migration/legal migration, returns and readmission, migrant centres in the doorways of the developed world (like Libya for Africa), highly skilled migrants vs low skilled and domestic workers, rights of the migrant and the migrant worker, role of the diaspora etc etc.

Fascinating...just fascinating... and I feel privileged to be here, in the middle of the chaos and chatter, experiencing this era of change.

my personality test results

My Personality

Neuroticism	71
Extraversion	71
Openness To Experience	43
Agreeableness	37
Conscientiousness	40

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Under Neuroticism it says this about me:
You feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You feel enraged when things do not go your way. You are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter if you think you are being cheated. Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. High levels of stress can lead to you feeling panic or confusion, but usually you cope with day to day pressures.

And Extraversion:
You genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You make friends quickly and it is easy for you to form close, intimate relationships. You find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding, and you enjoy the excitement that crowds provide. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy.

Openness to Experience:
Often you find the real world is too plain and ordinary for your liking, and you use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world for yourself. You are reasonably interested in the arts but are not totally absorbed by them. Generally you are not considered to be an emotional person, however you are aware of and in touch with your emotions. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking.

Agreeableness:
You mostly assume that people are honest and fair, however you are wary and hold back from trusting people completely. You believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of your time you feel that they are imposing on you. You do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important. You feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You are mostly a compassionate person, however you prefer to make objective judgments when possible.

Conscientiousness:
Often you do not feel effective, and may have a sense that you are not in control of your life. You are a reasonably organized person and like to have a certain amount of routine in your life. You find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining and are sometimes seen as unreliable or even irresponsible by others. You strive hard to achieve excellence. Your drive to be recognized as successful keeps you on track toward your lofty goals. You often have a strong sense of direction in life, but may sometimes be too single-minded and obsessed with your work. You have a reasonable amount of will-power and are able to follow through on tasks that you feel you need to complete. You can be distracted however and have been known to procrastinate. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.
******

While I don't agree with everything described above, I agree with the majority of the results. And in the end, I just LOVE personality tests. It has been a slow Sunday so far, with Friday a party night of great proportions. Sticking to wine and having a meal during the evening saved me. I'm feeling generally ok and a bit numb - about work, the future, the wedding etc. I realise this is a rut, in terms of emotional levels, since mid-August I've gone from high to low to middle. The middle level is the most dangerous because I can slip into low and not really realise it. In addition, when in middle level, I just can't activate myself to do anything productive. This is about it - and reading 2 books in 1 day. I have forms to fill out, website content to develop etc etc and next week is London with the girls. AAGH!

superficial vs serious worries

I think superficial worries are just as equal to serious worries, but one should at least be aware of how to categorize one's own worries. Here is my list:

Superficial:
1. My hair (thinnning! badly cut! not in good shape)
2. My hips (no more on these)
3. Looking good for the wedding (me in a sari!)
3b. Not tripping during the whole wedding week (drunk or sober)
4. My passport photo (got to get rid of it!)
5. What people will remember of the wedding
6. What my new boss thinks of me (I should give a flying F for a number of reasons)
7. What my old boss really thinks of me (though reading the signs he seems to have loved me and valued my work)

Serious:
1. That the wedding goes off well
2. That my paperwork to the US is smooth
3. My Syrian stamps don't put me on a terrorist list or get me body/cavity searched
4. Saving money

Then the worries that haunt me and are just me (that is- paranoid and a little OTT):
1. Getting run over in the next few months and becoming paralysed
2. Something happening to my family members or the boy (!)
3. Getting fired before I put in my resignation
4. Everyone at the office deciding they hate me, esp my group (dream of this)
5. Burning down the apt or some problematic issue taking place, like the apt being burgled etc. (worry every morning)

I feel decidely tense. urgh! On the other hand, by acknowledging my worries I also feel more in control. If you met me you wouldn't think I had a care in the world, especially not on a Friday night drinks party. But, my close friends know I'm neurotic. But at least I can categorise the sane, the superficial and the crazy worries. See, I'm normal after all.