I just returned from an amazing, e-mail free, two weeks away, with the Boy, in NYC, Princeton and then Maui. So much to write!! It was a truly glorious and much needed break. I don't even realise that I'm burning out until I get away and feel free. Though dreams of work dogged my whole sleep time -- partly because I felt out of contorl since I didn't compulsively check (work) email.
More later... am about to pass out with exhaustion as I went straight into work and tackled some heavy stuff before dragging my ass out around 7 pm. The Italy -German match cleared out the office earlier. Tomorrow Portugal play France. I predict a German-French play-off. woo hoo.
How great is love and friendship? I felt very blessed the whole trip and have my parents to thank for everything. They are just the best!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
weddings, weight, and watching LOST
I'm getting really excited about the wedding. I mean really excited! This morning the boy and I realised we hadn't booked our own air tickets, though we've been busy advising others to do so quickly!
My wedding is in India - in two locations - one in a city I don't know well but is full of mystery and that I loved instantly on visiting it once, years ago. The boy's family comes from further south, but they live there now. It is a city full of contradictions - old and modern (the new tech haven), Muslim king and population in a Hindu, dravidian state. The other area/location is at the beach on the West Coat of India - a very Catholic area that I originate from and love, though I've never lived there. As the boy says, they are both places we have fond memories of and that we long to share with others.
It is completely thanks to our mums and our aunts (and our dads) that all this can even take place. I hope I can do half as much for my kids at some point. I want to provide a good time to my guests and for people to go back with happy memories. I also have to lose weight - I need to lose a few inches of my hips for sure. I've never been a dieter and an ok exerciser, but now I'm serious. I have 6 months and I'd feel more confident but since February (4 months ago), I haven't seen that much change. I have to try harder and be more committed.
I cut my hair recently so it would be healthy and long in time for the wedding. How crazy, but I'm all in to it now and I try my best not to talk about it unless someone asks and then speak just a bit about it. And they ask. A traditional Indian wedding is always a curiousity. I also want to concentrate on marriage vs the wedding. It is no poing having a big affair and then we don't put in effort to really make this union work.
The boy and I have been together for six years and I love him a lot though he is a bloody pain in the arse (now and then). I have faith in our togetherness because we get along. I also worry about certain issues and general lazyness setting in on both our parts. It seems daunting all of a sudden, but it will be good in the end. I just have to believe in it.
I'd kill for a bandara salad right now (from Vancouver's Cactus Club). But no such luck. Here is the menu link: http://cactusclubcafe.com/ccmenu.htm
My favourite (and actually the only one I could bother going to) is at Broadway and Ash. I had some funny and very drunken moments there.
One thing I do miss here is a good salad - either the greens are just plain or they mayo everything. Though the prawn and avocado salad at Touch and Go (St. Boniface) is pretty good to.
Ok, now I'm talking about food instead of eating it - I think this is a classic case of someone I don't want to be.
I'm off to bed - actually I lie - I'm logging off to watch an episode (or two) of LOST on DVD.
My wedding is in India - in two locations - one in a city I don't know well but is full of mystery and that I loved instantly on visiting it once, years ago. The boy's family comes from further south, but they live there now. It is a city full of contradictions - old and modern (the new tech haven), Muslim king and population in a Hindu, dravidian state. The other area/location is at the beach on the West Coat of India - a very Catholic area that I originate from and love, though I've never lived there. As the boy says, they are both places we have fond memories of and that we long to share with others.
It is completely thanks to our mums and our aunts (and our dads) that all this can even take place. I hope I can do half as much for my kids at some point. I want to provide a good time to my guests and for people to go back with happy memories. I also have to lose weight - I need to lose a few inches of my hips for sure. I've never been a dieter and an ok exerciser, but now I'm serious. I have 6 months and I'd feel more confident but since February (4 months ago), I haven't seen that much change. I have to try harder and be more committed.
I cut my hair recently so it would be healthy and long in time for the wedding. How crazy, but I'm all in to it now and I try my best not to talk about it unless someone asks and then speak just a bit about it. And they ask. A traditional Indian wedding is always a curiousity. I also want to concentrate on marriage vs the wedding. It is no poing having a big affair and then we don't put in effort to really make this union work.
The boy and I have been together for six years and I love him a lot though he is a bloody pain in the arse (now and then). I have faith in our togetherness because we get along. I also worry about certain issues and general lazyness setting in on both our parts. It seems daunting all of a sudden, but it will be good in the end. I just have to believe in it.
I'd kill for a bandara salad right now (from Vancouver's Cactus Club). But no such luck. Here is the menu link: http://cactusclubcafe.com/ccmenu.htm
My favourite (and actually the only one I could bother going to) is at Broadway and Ash. I had some funny and very drunken moments there.
One thing I do miss here is a good salad - either the greens are just plain or they mayo everything. Though the prawn and avocado salad at Touch and Go (St. Boniface) is pretty good to.
Ok, now I'm talking about food instead of eating it - I think this is a classic case of someone I don't want to be.
I'm off to bed - actually I lie - I'm logging off to watch an episode (or two) of LOST on DVD.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Pick and Mix: Picnics, othering/ colonialism, changes and the WORLD CUP
This is a 'pick and mix' entry - the name is a shout out to my brother and our joy at being allowed to go to the pick and mix candy section in Woolworths, in London!!! Do you remember?????
Well, the idea of actually moving to LA is becoming more and more "real" and actually exciting and positive. Astounding how attitude (acceptance on my part, public declaration of the move, practical steps etc) can change perspective to such an extent.
On another note, the weather was fabulous this weekend and I organised a picnic in the park (Parc Royal)to take advantage of a rare, Belgian sunny Sunday! It was lovely - we played badminton, ate yummy foods and drank chilled white and rose wine. It was also a bit odd at moments with some underlining bitchiness from one of my friends. I think I may have to call her on it -- her comments to me and to two other friends have increased in their ferociousness.
[edited edited edited]
Anyway, the picnic was lovely because of the general good mood of the others, the weather and the food. We had an interesting discussion on Belgian colonialism as the park, the whole downtown, the city in fact, are all products of the richness of the Congo. Reading King Leopold's Ghost has just highlighted and detailed some of the horrors of Belgian colonialism. My general understanding of Belgian colonialism, was that while it was indeed brutal, it was a complicated love affair and that the paternalism (and meddling) of the past continues today but in a more positive manner and through development aid (and this is said in contrast to the Brits washing their hands of us 'hindus' and moving out as quickly as possible once they'd carved up the sub-continent). But, the actual level of brutality and interference by the Belgians in the Congo is astounding - the practice of chopping of hands, that we see done today by the crazy rebels - was introduced by the Belgian landlords.
Actually, even today, educated Belgians speak of the Congolese as if they are wild children. This easy "othering" by Euros is something I will never get used to and which really makes my skin crawl. At a dinner the other night, someone at the table started speaking about their trip to the South of Italy in such a manner that it really reminded me of Mann's exoticisation of the Italians in "Death in Venice". I'm am full of generalisations - don't get me wrong - I understand the need to generalise and I don't mind the funny stories on culture, but I don't like the stereotyping whereby we paint a group as "less than civilised" or "savage" - whether this is in reference to their work habits (lazy), their sexual appetites and rates of reproduction (like rabbits) or their level of cleanliness/living standards (crowded, no taste, smelly etc). The best quote was this person saying "the town square [in a part of Sicily] was decorated so kitschy and tastelessly, just like India, though I've never been to India". Oh, I see...hah, and this of course coming from a person who loves to travel to 'exotic locations' and shop till she drops - somehow this 'uncivilised' aspect - low prices and haggling with vendors - is totally tolerable!
On another, another note - I made my long term, mid term and short term goals' list last week. And I feel more at peace! This is also the summer of movement and changes and so it seems right that I am also in a process of flux:
1. Weddings: half my world will be married by September 2007 with a crazy rush around this September! oh vey - it is an epidemic!
2. Babies - people are suddenly popping them out!
3. Moving away from Brussels: 2 Quebecois and 2 Brits - heading home of their very own accord. I'll miss this departing lot a lot - two of them are my closest buddies in Brussels and my Quebecois pal, like a sister!!!
4. New loves and new jobs: the singles are all hooking up in earnest and then finding that they have job offers they can't refuse all the way across the world. The universe loves to play such games!
Last note: The WORLD CUP is on - the bars are full of boys (and some girls) with eyes on the tv screen - their shouts of glee or despair can be heard every evening. The excitement builds, tomorrow is Italy vs Ghana and my Italian pals are all going to watch at Place Luxembourg. I'll probably tag along though I tend to support the underdog, in this case Ghana. Reminds me of my very first boyfriend...sigh...Kofi!
I hope we see an unexpected winner this year and a revolution on the playing field - maybe a new Pele - we need a little hope. I'm going to try and post an interesting article by Kofin Annan (not my old bf!) on the the global aspects of the World Cup and its resemblence to the UN etc.
Well, the idea of actually moving to LA is becoming more and more "real" and actually exciting and positive. Astounding how attitude (acceptance on my part, public declaration of the move, practical steps etc) can change perspective to such an extent.
On another note, the weather was fabulous this weekend and I organised a picnic in the park (Parc Royal)to take advantage of a rare, Belgian sunny Sunday! It was lovely - we played badminton, ate yummy foods and drank chilled white and rose wine. It was also a bit odd at moments with some underlining bitchiness from one of my friends. I think I may have to call her on it -- her comments to me and to two other friends have increased in their ferociousness.
[edited edited edited]
Anyway, the picnic was lovely because of the general good mood of the others, the weather and the food. We had an interesting discussion on Belgian colonialism as the park, the whole downtown, the city in fact, are all products of the richness of the Congo. Reading King Leopold's Ghost has just highlighted and detailed some of the horrors of Belgian colonialism. My general understanding of Belgian colonialism, was that while it was indeed brutal, it was a complicated love affair and that the paternalism (and meddling) of the past continues today but in a more positive manner and through development aid (and this is said in contrast to the Brits washing their hands of us 'hindus' and moving out as quickly as possible once they'd carved up the sub-continent). But, the actual level of brutality and interference by the Belgians in the Congo is astounding - the practice of chopping of hands, that we see done today by the crazy rebels - was introduced by the Belgian landlords.
Actually, even today, educated Belgians speak of the Congolese as if they are wild children. This easy "othering" by Euros is something I will never get used to and which really makes my skin crawl. At a dinner the other night, someone at the table started speaking about their trip to the South of Italy in such a manner that it really reminded me of Mann's exoticisation of the Italians in "Death in Venice". I'm am full of generalisations - don't get me wrong - I understand the need to generalise and I don't mind the funny stories on culture, but I don't like the stereotyping whereby we paint a group as "less than civilised" or "savage" - whether this is in reference to their work habits (lazy), their sexual appetites and rates of reproduction (like rabbits) or their level of cleanliness/living standards (crowded, no taste, smelly etc). The best quote was this person saying "the town square [in a part of Sicily] was decorated so kitschy and tastelessly, just like India, though I've never been to India". Oh, I see...hah, and this of course coming from a person who loves to travel to 'exotic locations' and shop till she drops - somehow this 'uncivilised' aspect - low prices and haggling with vendors - is totally tolerable!
On another, another note - I made my long term, mid term and short term goals' list last week. And I feel more at peace! This is also the summer of movement and changes and so it seems right that I am also in a process of flux:
1. Weddings: half my world will be married by September 2007 with a crazy rush around this September! oh vey - it is an epidemic!
2. Babies - people are suddenly popping them out!
3. Moving away from Brussels: 2 Quebecois and 2 Brits - heading home of their very own accord. I'll miss this departing lot a lot - two of them are my closest buddies in Brussels and my Quebecois pal, like a sister!!!
4. New loves and new jobs: the singles are all hooking up in earnest and then finding that they have job offers they can't refuse all the way across the world. The universe loves to play such games!
Last note: The WORLD CUP is on - the bars are full of boys (and some girls) with eyes on the tv screen - their shouts of glee or despair can be heard every evening. The excitement builds, tomorrow is Italy vs Ghana and my Italian pals are all going to watch at Place Luxembourg. I'll probably tag along though I tend to support the underdog, in this case Ghana. Reminds me of my very first boyfriend...sigh...Kofi!
I hope we see an unexpected winner this year and a revolution on the playing field - maybe a new Pele - we need a little hope. I'm going to try and post an interesting article by Kofin Annan (not my old bf!) on the the global aspects of the World Cup and its resemblence to the UN etc.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Foul Mood - stay away from me!
Wow, I was in a truly foul mood today! As I just told the boy, haven't felt like this since 1986 (ha ha)! No really, I woke up after the long, lovely weekend, in time for work etc and initially feeling something - thought maybe a bit low, a little depression. But oh no, depression would have been welcome, instead I was just all out bitchy and snappy today. Silence reigned in my office, cos they only talk when I do, which is most of the time. I even snapped at S, my close work buddy and partner in crime! I'm shocked, I don't even know where this tempest came from and it hasn't really disappeared as yet. Talking with the boy helped, he made me laugh, though a couple of times I tried to start a fight (over his vs my friends), but he dodged the bullets and at one point, caught one in his teeth and spat it back at me. The worst part is, I can see my bitchyness and I'm horrified because the Euros can't deal with such stuff. They don't confront and they are a peaceful, non-attacking lot. I was like a rottweiller (sp) amongst the little lambs today!!! Ugh, I'm slowly starting to feel guilt. Honestly, it has to do with getting off the pill, stress (the bloody China visit tomorrow), and general hormone wonkyness (like last month's 2 week dippy period!) Then again at age 31 it is time to get some control!
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to make up some of the damage, at least to S, who is lovely! And what about my recent intense irritation and dislike of my ex-boss? What is up with that? I have to conquer this trait whereby if I lose respect for someone or they annoy me then it is all down hill from there and I just can't tolerate them anymore - EVEN if they still love me and support me. The problem here is actually that I'm getting away with being a bully because when I'm good, I'm really really good (and fun, and outgoing and as one of the senior staff says, "the mentor".)
And that is another thing, the young 'uns are always asking me for advice and I like to help and provide tangible steps forward, but I want some professional advice too! I also want some answers and maybe I should start the asking and listening process again.
Anyway, all I know is that I can't be like this regularly and I have to take such moods in hand. I know we are all allowed our bad spells, but I really dislike people who take it out on others and there I was today, doing the same. It isn't acceptable, not to co-workers, family, loved ones or friends. So, to the universe - I'm really really sorry! Please give me the strength to apologise tomorrow in many ways and make it up to people serenely!
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to make up some of the damage, at least to S, who is lovely! And what about my recent intense irritation and dislike of my ex-boss? What is up with that? I have to conquer this trait whereby if I lose respect for someone or they annoy me then it is all down hill from there and I just can't tolerate them anymore - EVEN if they still love me and support me. The problem here is actually that I'm getting away with being a bully because when I'm good, I'm really really good (and fun, and outgoing and as one of the senior staff says, "the mentor".)
And that is another thing, the young 'uns are always asking me for advice and I like to help and provide tangible steps forward, but I want some professional advice too! I also want some answers and maybe I should start the asking and listening process again.
Anyway, all I know is that I can't be like this regularly and I have to take such moods in hand. I know we are all allowed our bad spells, but I really dislike people who take it out on others and there I was today, doing the same. It isn't acceptable, not to co-workers, family, loved ones or friends. So, to the universe - I'm really really sorry! Please give me the strength to apologise tomorrow in many ways and make it up to people serenely!
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