Well, it is almost Valentines Day 2007 and I get to spend it this year with the boy. We aren't really into V-Day - I find it all a bit teenagy and fabricated. But, it is a nice mid-week excuse this year to go out for dinner and hopefully we will be doing just that. As long as Evil E (economics) doesn't come in the way.
I've decided that I'm an Econ-widow and I'm sure there are quite a few of us - in fact, most must be suffering more than me. It is becoming imperative to get the green light to work and get a job - not really for financial reasons (as yet) but out of a sense of self preservation. My work was my main reference point - providing me with a space to socialise in, my support system and spring-board from which to build networks. I don't have that sort of support system here in LA and while I am managing for now, I'm just about floating. And work kept me intellectually awake (if not inspired at times).
I try to set myself little tasks every day so as to keep different facets of my persona alive. The one I fear slipping is my curiosity. I checked some books out of the UCLA library yesterday in an attempt to fuel my interest. And I decided that apart from my usual dose of fiction, I'd push myself during this 'easy' time to read stuff I don't really enjoy as much, such as poetry, literary critiscism and history. In a way I feel guilty for this "off" time and am veering on the side of being a bit masochistic. But, it's early days yet...
One interesting thing about LA is how nice people are - not the Vancouver sort of niceness, which was a bit boring, but instead an engaging easyness. Whenever one goes to bars, people come up and chat and they aren't weirdos, just friendly really. And for the most party they all seem well travelled. And while people are quite patient at stores and in lines, they aren't overly jolly but just 'cool'. I wonder if I'll continue to think this way about them in a few years.
Another thing, coke is pretty much done by a lot of people here. In NY, I knew people, who knew people who did coke (how sad does that sound?) and I was present at parties where a group may go off to do stuff, but it wasn't really visible all that much. At least in my (poor and innocent) circle. While here in LA, tons of people do it and some of the most surprising souls. And of course Brussels was innocence par excellence - sure, we'd heard that some assistants in the EP did coke regularly but no one was sure if that was really true or just an urban legend. And forget my circle in school or Canada. So all in all, its a bit of a surprise to find myself close to people doing coke at this stage of life (nearly 32). I'd understand weed and shrooms, but coke?? I sound naive, but it seems a bit harsh or somewhat "really serious" and "juvy"...
And not surprisingly, most people here seem generally very highly tuned into pop culture throughout - you can't really escape it (though the boy seems to have skipped it totally and is very proud of that fact) as most of the news is about the stars - and what I would consider gossip, is considered newsworthy, headline items here!!!! I always prided myself on being in the 'know' on pop cult stuff, but I realise I'm actually off the centre out here - I need to do a lot more internet surfing and tv watching, basically. Of course as I do that, the great amount of other news I used to follow is slipping by the wayside. Like, what is happening in the EU? What about Iraq? And other areas of the world (like Afghanistan, Lebanon, Thailand, Nepal)? The biggest news of the last two weeks as far as I can figure out is Anna Nicole Smith's death in a hotel room in Florida.
The fact is I don't fully fit here (as yet), but I'm not quite as bad as a square peg in a round hole though. Certainly not like being in Canada, where for the most part I felt like I was moving at a different speed than everyone else (10x faster basically). Overall, except for the glaring differences, I feel quite comfortable in LA - maybe its just that it is like NY, in the sense that it allows you to be who you want to be, within of course a particularly broad referential framework. So while I think I'll skip the whole coke craze, I'll definately buy into the working out thing, the constant restauranting, and the entertainment business if I can. Oh, and the engaged easyness!
I've decided that I'm an Econ-widow and I'm sure there are quite a few of us - in fact, most must be suffering more than me. It is becoming imperative to get the green light to work and get a job - not really for financial reasons (as yet) but out of a sense of self preservation. My work was my main reference point - providing me with a space to socialise in, my support system and spring-board from which to build networks. I don't have that sort of support system here in LA and while I am managing for now, I'm just about floating. And work kept me intellectually awake (if not inspired at times).
I try to set myself little tasks every day so as to keep different facets of my persona alive. The one I fear slipping is my curiosity. I checked some books out of the UCLA library yesterday in an attempt to fuel my interest. And I decided that apart from my usual dose of fiction, I'd push myself during this 'easy' time to read stuff I don't really enjoy as much, such as poetry, literary critiscism and history. In a way I feel guilty for this "off" time and am veering on the side of being a bit masochistic. But, it's early days yet...
One interesting thing about LA is how nice people are - not the Vancouver sort of niceness, which was a bit boring, but instead an engaging easyness. Whenever one goes to bars, people come up and chat and they aren't weirdos, just friendly really. And for the most party they all seem well travelled. And while people are quite patient at stores and in lines, they aren't overly jolly but just 'cool'. I wonder if I'll continue to think this way about them in a few years.
Another thing, coke is pretty much done by a lot of people here. In NY, I knew people, who knew people who did coke (how sad does that sound?) and I was present at parties where a group may go off to do stuff, but it wasn't really visible all that much. At least in my (poor and innocent) circle. While here in LA, tons of people do it and some of the most surprising souls. And of course Brussels was innocence par excellence - sure, we'd heard that some assistants in the EP did coke regularly but no one was sure if that was really true or just an urban legend. And forget my circle in school or Canada. So all in all, its a bit of a surprise to find myself close to people doing coke at this stage of life (nearly 32). I'd understand weed and shrooms, but coke?? I sound naive, but it seems a bit harsh or somewhat "really serious" and "juvy"...
And not surprisingly, most people here seem generally very highly tuned into pop culture throughout - you can't really escape it (though the boy seems to have skipped it totally and is very proud of that fact) as most of the news is about the stars - and what I would consider gossip, is considered newsworthy, headline items here!!!! I always prided myself on being in the 'know' on pop cult stuff, but I realise I'm actually off the centre out here - I need to do a lot more internet surfing and tv watching, basically. Of course as I do that, the great amount of other news I used to follow is slipping by the wayside. Like, what is happening in the EU? What about Iraq? And other areas of the world (like Afghanistan, Lebanon, Thailand, Nepal)? The biggest news of the last two weeks as far as I can figure out is Anna Nicole Smith's death in a hotel room in Florida.
The fact is I don't fully fit here (as yet), but I'm not quite as bad as a square peg in a round hole though. Certainly not like being in Canada, where for the most part I felt like I was moving at a different speed than everyone else (10x faster basically). Overall, except for the glaring differences, I feel quite comfortable in LA - maybe its just that it is like NY, in the sense that it allows you to be who you want to be, within of course a particularly broad referential framework. So while I think I'll skip the whole coke craze, I'll definately buy into the working out thing, the constant restauranting, and the entertainment business if I can. Oh, and the engaged easyness!
2 comments:
This is too funny: "In NY, I knew people, who knew people who did coke (how sad does that sound?)"
This is exactly how I feel...I'm always outside the circle never it in...but that's quit alright for me I've accepted it now!
I figure we have our own circle, right? I really hope to see you/speak to you soon!!How many years has it been????
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