Becoming a commodity

Just got a link to some online photos via the boy's mother's friends (i.e., friends of my mother-in-law) who were at the wedding. And they are lovely. But in all the photos where I am present, the captions read..."the bride" or (let's call the boy 'MARVIN MANIFESTATION' for now), "Marvin's bride" and nowhere is my name mentioned!! I have now become a commodity, a belonging. I know those people mean no harm and I'm sure they are very nice but they are also so culturally separated from me that they see nothing wrong with wording the captions in such a manner. I'm sure they could look up the invite to get my name and really, all things considered, my name is very Indian and VERY easy to remember for Indians. But, basically, neither my name nor my independent identity are of any consequence any longer.

BTW, I have kept my last name and am surprised at how many people just assumed in writing us gift-checks that I would be Mrs. Frida Manifestation! Am I actually more freaked out than called for because I have always secretly suspected his clan of being inherently sexist and this is now further proof? [Though my own clan are hardly models of feminism and arguably only wear a superficial coating of gender equality.]

Or am I even more secretly unsure about my own sense of self and how I measure up to the boy and am actually scared about what I may become? That is, even if working and having my own career, willing to follow my husband anywhere - even when banished from the kingdom and forced to live in the forest for 14 years!! Is that what has taken place here - I self-banished from Brussels and am now in an urban jungle? Am I not my worst enemy? The boy has never asked anything of me but what I have given I've done so freely, imagining this is what I want.

Ok, I need fresh air - I'm going out to buy stuff for our friends arriving from YVR tomorrow. I understand R's determination to give her child her last name and I love her for it! There is something to the whole act of naming in the end.