August in Brussels

August in Brussels is dull at the best of times – everyone flees the city for long, sun-kissed holidays and the weather is overcast and grey. This August is as expected - windy, rainy and empty - and more. The month seems to be dragging on with very little to report in terms of highlights. We are all exhausted at work, unsure what September and October will hold for us and generally feeling lethargic. I think Lebanon gave me a spark (and a serious stress) from mid-July to now but it is ending and we are returning to our ruts. I reviewed two reports today, both on border management, and realise how much of my time is spent keeping people out of countries rather than facilitating their entry.

I have to go to the police and report my missing ID cards. Though there should be no problem I’m depressed by the idea of more paperwork. If I can’t deal with the minute amounts of personal paperwork here in Brussels, hell knows how I’ll manage in the US where one’s life is run by credit cards, bills, payments due etc. I’ve just got out of the loop of dealing in a capitalist society and the stuff I miss, like shops open late, great customer service etc., quality and quantity and choice of goods, all come at a price!

I’ve decided that the wedding website will be my new focus – to really get it off the ground and working as a useful tool. I complain that the boy takes too long in getting things done, but I haven’t really taken on any one wedding project to date. I’m also going to start compiling music for the wedding. I realise that to see my way through this drizzly August in some sane state, I’ll have to energise myself and no one else can do it for me.

Have I mentioned before my love for cities? I realised it after Damascus that everyone has something that brightens their life – for some people it’s a new love, for others it’s the great outdoors/a nature landscape, or new acquisitions (clothes, jewellery, or cars), etc. For me it’s discovering a city. I thrive on the idea of making a city mine, of conquering a little part of it – both physically and in my imagination. Sadly, like those people who tire of their new acquisition, their new love, etc., I tire of my cities and am ready after an average of 2 years to move on, to rediscover. I am not fickle in my love of the boy and my family. But I’m so, so fickle in my love of cities. And this feeling, this heavy August dullness, of being antsy in addition to a growing ennui, is a sign of the end of my love affair with Brussels. In November it will be 2 years. I’m so predictable… the only question now is where next? La-la land seems where I’m headed and for at least 3-4 years. I suspect though, that like NYC, it’ll keep me busy and on my toes for more than a two-year stretch.